MOAR YULETIDE

[wakeupnew]

Oh man, I am so excited for the Yuletide reveals, you guys. I am totally going to gleefully stalk my authors; I am burning with curiosity as to who they are! Unfortunately, I will be traveling that day, but I ought to be around to chase fics all over the place to see who wrote what by the time I hit Boston that afternoon. Squee!

Revenge of the Recs! Fandoms starting with K through fandoms starting with X, with one H that I missed on my first time through; 40-odd recs in 30 or so fandoms.

Fandoms: How I Met Your Mother, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, L.M. Montgomery's Anne of Green Gables books, Laura Ingalls Wilder's Little House books, Little Miss Sunshine, Live Free or Die Hard, Lloyd Alexander's Chronicles of Prydain, Love Actually, Mary Poppins, M*A*S*H, Maud Hart Lovelace's Betsy-Tacy books, The Middleman, Mulan, The Mummy, National Treasure, Neil Gaiman's A Study in Emerald, Once, Penny Arcade, The Princess Bride, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, RPF - Misc Actors, Sneakers, Sons of Anarchy, Spaced, Tropic Thunder, WALL*E, Watchmen, White Christmas, xkcd.

How I Met Your Mother
Real Good Place: Somehow, I didn't rec this on my first pass! I'd read it but forgot to add it to my delicious account, which meant that it got lost in the shuffle. This is fantastic; the Robin narration to the kids is hysterical, and her voice in general is strong and wry and wonderful, even while she's struggling personally and professionally. This is done very well.

Kids, this is your Aunt Robin. Shut up, I'm telling you a story. I know your dad's stories suck, but mine don't. How old are you, fourteen? Want a beer while I talk? What, Ted? What is so wrong with that? Geez, what a geezer, right, guys?

Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang
Not with a Bang but a Whimper: It's a Harry/Perry story, featuring the kindest treatment of Harmony I've ever seen in a Harry/Perry story. It's absolutely hysterical; the snippets of Harry-voice are great.

"So you think I deserve better?" Harry called after him.

"I just don't like to see dumb animals suffering as a general rule, that's all," Perry yelled back from the kitchen over the sound of running water.

Suburban Decay: First-person Perry narration and the zombie apocalypse. WONDERFUL. Two quotes, because I couldn't pick just one.

Now, if Harry was in charge, this is where he'd be jumping around the place in the narrative, getting all mixed up, telling you about how we wound up in a parking garage, with a bunch of zombies after us, instead of concentrating on whatever larcenous activity he was supposed to be undertaking. I'm more disciplined than Harry, which is not difficult. Your average toddler is more disciplined than Harry.

----

"I fucking hate you!" I shouted at Harry, after I'd bounced off the windshield in a synchronized slam with the undead Walter-fucking-Matthau on the hood. "You're so fucking fired."

A General Theory About Idiots: Harry has a theory about Perry's use of the word 'idiot'; Harry and Harmony have some rough times. Features fantastic first-person Harry narration.

Here you go. The story all five of you wanted to see. Merry Christmas.

L.M. Montgomery's Anne of Green Gables
To Err, To Forgive: Gil on Anne; short and sweet.

Gilbert's life changes the moment he lays eyes on the redheaded Shirley girl. He doesn't realize it immediately, but it doesn't take long. It's a big clue when she cracks a slate over his head. She leaves his ears ringing, his mouth open, and his heart helplessly captive.

Laura Ingalls Wilder's Little House on the Prairie series
Little Settlement on the Moon: Laura and her family move to the moon. It's a wonderful pastiche of Wilder's style in a science fiction setting; it's adorable.

When they got all the way East, it was time to trade in their prairie pioneer goods for moon pioneer goods. Pa was a farming man, through and through. He had been learning about the new-fangled idea of hydroponic farming. Imagine - all that good food, no worries about weather or grasshoppers! Laura was so pleased at the thought.

No Doubts: I never knew that I wanted this story to exist, until I read it. Life on the edge of civilization has never been easy for or particularly kind to Caroline Ingalls.

Had she known that marriage to Charles would bring lonely prairie and isolation, abandoned homes and dirt floors, illness and debt, near-starvation and a blinded child, she does not think she would have had the courage to say "I do".

Wisconsin: Caroline keeps the wolves from the door, literally and metaphorically. Sad, a more grown-up look at the books.

She prayed that she'd keep this one, prayed that she'd never have to stand in the face of danger, that the only thing between her baby and death would never be only her own flawed self with a rifle in hand.

A Land so Savage and Wild: Ma and Pa Ingalls got so much love this Yuletide; it's wonderful. This one is about Pa and his wanderlust through the years, and it's so good.

That evening he stands above the roof; Laura and Mary are playing near the creek, and Caroline is singing by the window. Then the geese come, grey and crying, and a familiar ache stirs in his chest. He tries to walk the restlessness out of his legs, and then he takes out his fiddle and plays until Laura has tears in her eyes.

Little Miss Sunshine
Nine Steps in a Circle: Frank and Dwight after it all. Both voices are really wonderful; I'm especially impressed with the Dwight voice, considering that he doesn't talk for most of the movie yet all of his lines in this fic still sound essentially Dwight.

"It was so much easier when I could just ignore him," Dwayne said to the ceiling. "I made it into this big thing, like I was making a sacrifice, but it really just started with me not wanting to talk to them."

Live Free or Die Hard
Die Hard 4.5: I'll Be Hard for Christmas: I saw this movie last year basically just because of all of the McClane/Matt fic in Yuletide, and this story does not disappoint. The voices are great; I love the snippets from the Congressional hearings, with the real answers given alongside the answers that McClane wanted to give. The level of detail is admirable! Also, the original characters are wonderful (Amit! *adores*). As a fan of all of the movies, it was great to see callbacks to the first three films.

This was a petty, cheap kind of fear, though. He was ashamed of it, and after a moment the shame overpowered the hesitation. He'd been chased by a branch of the Hudson River and half the natural gas pipelines of the east coast. Please. He could handle a little gay sex.

Lloyd Alexander's Chronicles of Prydain
The Kindly King of Hummings and Strummings: Oh my God, oh my GOD. I asked for this fic last year and didn't receive it, and I am beyond thrilled to see it in the archives this year! This was not my request, but I almost feel like it was. A fic starring Fflewddur Fflam! The harp strings! Eilonwy! The snippy servants; drunk dragons! I cannot tell you how wonderful this story is; how perfect the voices and the tone are. This is another of my all-time Yuletide favorites.

"I ought to nail your shoes to the floor, Sire, that I ought!"

It had struck Fflewddur as a rather clever notion. He had ordered it done, and in her pleasure and zeal at receiving a direct order from her often-absent liege, Tesni pounded nails into his formal boots, where they had been abandoned in front of his throne; his fuzzy slippers, next to his bed; and even his comfortable cracked-leather barding shoes, still in the kitchen doorway.

Love, Actually
As You Mean to Go On: A look at a number of characters after the end of the film. I'm so impressed with the author's subtlety and ability to capture all of these different voices so perfectly.

Billy tilted his head to look over at Joe. "Merry Christmas, you fat bastard."

"Merry Christmas, you has-been," Joe replied warmly.

Billy grinned widely, and passed him the whiskey. "My heart," he said, settling back against the cement with his hands clasped on his chest, "is full."

"Your heart is full of whiskey." Joe settled back too, crossing his hands behind his head.

Someone You Love: This story is just -- I love it as much as I did the first time I read it. It puts to right the saddest story from the film, and it does it in a manner that is still entirely in character and does not forget Sarah's love and sacrifice for her brother. It's beautifully written.

I'm sorry about the night of the Christmas party, Karl, she tells him in her mind. I'm sorry I invited you up, I'm sorry we got undressed, and I'm sorry I kissed you. I should've known better.

Mary Poppins
Wind in the East: Mary and Bert through the years; lovely and sweet.

Mary Poppins didn't look up from her embroidery. "If everything is bloody," she asked in a tone of perfect reasonableness, "whatever will you say when you cut your finger?"

M*A*S*H
Five Kindnesses Charles Emerson Winchester III Performed (But Would Never Acknowledge): Exactly what the title advertises; sweet, quiet fic set after the end of the series.

Dr. Winchester in cardiology, who always seemed to know everything, won the betting pool with his guess of "Wee-john-boo" after a radiologist finally found an atlas with phonetic pronunciations.

Twirling in Korea: Klinger on Christmas. The Klinger and Sidney voices in this are absolute treasures; Radar and BJ are great, too. It's such a M*A*S*H storyline, sweet and sad and funny.

Christmas is one such time that everyone goes a little more nuts than usual, and Klinger can see it coming a mile away.

Dear Trapper: Oh my God, the Hawkeye Pierce voice in this is the absolute best that I have ever seen anywhere, apart from the show itself. I would swear that this person was a writer on the show. Everyone is fantastically characterized, but Hawkeye's the hardest to get and to get right, and hot damn, does this author pull it off. Plus, it deals with something that I always wish the show handled: Trapper John's abrupt departure. I can't recommend this enough.

Taking pity on him, Hawkeye made his way over to the other bunk, wavering as he walked. "I'm terribly sorry," he said as he ran into the side of the stove and grabbed the pipe to keep his balance. He patted it gently in apology. "Shall we dance?" The half bow he did reminded him why he'd run into the stove in the first place. "Woah. Not tonight, my dear; frankly, I do give a damn." A few more steps and he'd reached BJ's feet. He bent down, placing a hand on the floor to keep his balance, and picked up a foot. "A red pump in a size 12, madam?"

Maud Hart Lovelace's Betsy-Tacy stories
Tin Gods and Gold Goddesses: Oh, this is sweet and heartbreaking. Betsy is getting married; Tacy is worried that she is being left behind. Beautifully written; reading this brings me right back to those books and my childhood, and how sad I was after finishing the last one.

Tacy had known Betsy for so many years she'd almost lost count. First they'd been little girls together, and Betsy's laughter had been as common a sound in the Kellys' slant-roofed parlor as Paul's or Katie's. Then they'd grown up and gone off to high school together, and Betsy had traded her braids for a pompadour and walks down the Secret Lane with Tacy for parties in the High Street house with the whole Crowd.

Now, at eighteen, all those years pressed down on Tacy's life like the snow that weighed heavy on the maples each January. They blanketed her with a soft, white quiet; they lodged cold into the crevices of her heart.

The Middleman
The Bellicose Doppelganger Auter-ization: Lacy gets in deep, and Wendy and the Middleman come to the rescue. It's a case-fic and hot damn, is it cracked out and wonderful. It reads like the show, right down to the subtitles and the conversations-in-song-titles with Noser.

Wendy sighs and grabs her own phone, hurriedly hitting the first number on speed dial. "Come on. Come on, Lace, pick up."

Instead, Wendy hears Lacey's chipper voice say, "I'm writing the definitive work on pain, and I would like you to tell me how the machine makes you feel. Remember, be honest. This is for posterity."

The Perilous Peanutbrittle Problem: Short and sweet, with great Lacy and Wendy voices.

"You know I get distracted when the mail comes in. Especially when we're expecting baked goods from your Tia Lupe. You know how I feel about her baked goods."

"The heavens open up shine down in their glory upon her carob-rum balls, all the while angels on high blow their horns to herald the arrival of her lemon bars."

The Ursine Therianthrope Divination: This is another lengthy fic that sounds so much like the show; I didn't recognize the Roxy character, because I've only seen a few episodes, but I got such a kick out of the fic in general that it really didn't matter. It's hilarious, and very sad in its own way, and utterly cracked out.

For the Middleman, the day started like any day - with piping hot oatmeal, icy cold moo juice, and the sweet country stylings of a man who loved no one but his horse.

Mulan
The Jade Fan: Mulan and Shang have (married) adventures, and Mulan kicks ass! This is great!

"I went to make my parents happy by trying to be a good daughter," she said. "As you can probably guess by me ending up with you instead of some local guy, it went really badly."

Shang smirked. "I wish I could have been there to see that."

Mulan threw a shoe at him.

The Mummy
A Spot of Bother: This is not a pairing that I've ever sought out, but the author makes it totally irresistible. The voices in this are wonderful; Jonathan in particular had me in complete hysterics.

"Hello, old chap. Fancy seeing you here." Jonathan beamed with as much assurance as if they were in the dining room at Shepheard's. Not that the staff would allow a Medjai into the dining room at Shepheard's, but that was neither here nor there. He continued, "As you can see, old chum, I'm in a spot of bother."

National Treasure
The Spoons Are Historical: Ben and Abigail take a vacation, except they figure out that they have more fun when they're not relaxing. Featuring hilarious Riley cameos and fabulously deadpan narration; I cannot describe how hard this made me laugh.

"Riley," Ben says. "You're in the trunk of a car, aren't you."

The thudding stops.

"Maybe."

"How did that happen?" Ben demands. "Wait, back up," he adds before Riley can answer, "are you all right?"

"My neck's a little cramped."

Neil Gaiman's A Study in Emerald
The Case of the Stars Brightly Burning: A wonderful pastiche of Gaiman's (and Arthur Conan Doyle's, of course) style; a quiet moment between Holmes and Watson.

For all that I lost later, I would not trade an hour spent with him, no, not even now, knowing what I do.

Then I did not know, and again, had I, it would not have changed my reply. "When do we go?"

Once
And I Can't Go Back: The girl and the boy, after the movie. Deftly-handled, bittersweet and melancholy til the end.

His excuses for not contacting her were endless and all shared one primary element: fear that by making himself miserable all of those years ago, he had made her miserable as well.

Still Got Time: The boy goes to his old girlfriend in London, and the girl stays behind in Dublin, but they don't forget each other. Quiet and heartbreaking, with a wonderful sense of language and realism (the phrase 'tatty bra' is used, and it just epitomized, to me, that gritty feel of the movie and how well it was emulated in this story). No happy endings here, just as it should be.

"C'mere," he whispered, and she said not yet, had gone to put the demo CD on repeat and they'd made love on the couch to the sound of his voice and her voice, another her, and the whole band behind them and at one point he had to turn his back to the music because it felt too much like them all watching him.

Penny Arcade
you're too blind to see: Sweet Jesus, this is hysterical and wrong. Gabe has been acting very strange lately; Tycho is going to figure out why. (If you don't know who Jack Thompson is, or about PA's longstanding mockery of him: la.)

The jars were a little more disturbing, actually. They showed up on the kitchen counter, one containing a really thin wisp of smoke and the other what appeared to be dead flesh. There were cheerful little bows attached.

"What the fuck is that?" Tycho asked.

Gabe stuck his head in. "What? Oh. Those. That's Jack Thompson's soul. Oh, and his scrotum."

"How the hell did you--no, scratch that, I don't think I want to know."

Gabe shrugged and told him anyway. "The scrotum was way harder to get, I had to actually track him down. I bought his soul on eBay."

The Princess Bride
Paradise: Short and sweet; Fezzik on life.

Fezzik hadn't the heart to tell them that he wanted to play with numbers instead of hitting things, because to him, numbers sang as sweetly as the bluebirds out his window.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead
Metamorphosis: Rosencrantz, Guildenstern, and Hamlet at university, and then the two of them confused. The tone is just right.

Guildenstern is the only one who knows how to work the temperamental espresso machine, which success of course pleases Hamlet to no end. "If a man isn't human before he has his coffee," he'll say over a perfectly-brewed cup, "Then yours is a humanitarian effort; a godly effort, even. You make a person of this weak clay."

RPF
This Ain't A Red Lobster (The Speed-Dating Misadventures of One Timothy Gunn): RPF in general is not my thing, but this -- ohmygod. I had to overcome my natural wariness of the genre(?), because this is absolutely brilliant. And I just -- JEWEL TONES. PAIRS UP MY TWO FAVORITE STYLE MAVENS EVER. HEARTS. SO MANY HEARTS. (I'm sorry; I've been trying for like ten minutes to write a recommendation that is not exploding with capslock, and it just wasn't happening). This is hysterical, and so well done. Tim Gunn goes speed-dating with other male reality TV stars. Hilarity ensues. The Tim Gunn-voice is dry and so, so well-handled.

Tim tilted his head sideways and tapped his cheek with his index finger. "Mmm. That is a worrying development, Mr. Flav."

Sneakers
Undercover Work: Short and fun; Crease and Carl team up against Mother.

It's actually more interesting than he'd thought it would be, and Carl gives at least two seconds worth of thought to going back to school. Then he remembers why he left and goes back to drinking coffee and sitting with his feet on the desk.

Sons of Anarchy
The Art of Stealing Souls: Gemma-fic through looking at photographs, and done so well. I can hear Katey Segal's voice in this. It makes me wish I'd seen more than the half-an-episode of this show that I have managed to watch!

Clay doesn't pose for pictures, doesn't much like having his photograph taken at all, but their living room doesn't look right without the normal accouterments, the furniture, the knick-knacks, the family photographs on the wall. And what Gemma wants, Gemma gets. They get a friend to take it so they can get the negatives afterwards, and Gemma calls it their honeymoon photo even though it's a few years too late for that.

Spaced
Miracle at 23 Meteor Street: Tim, Daisy, and Mike on Doctor Who; short and adorable and great fun, with great voices.

This is too much; Tim puts down his X-Box controller and flails. "I am not watching it! I am not watching it because Aussie pop princesses being in Doctor Who cannot be a good thing. Even attractive ones with touchingly tragic life stories. It's like every time you watch Aladdin in the cave with the monkey and you think for half a second it's not going to turn into a load of molten lava this time, but it does and then you curse the BBC for making important decisions based on who's going to make a better-selling plastic doll!" He takes a breath, and decapitates chocolate Santa with one bite.

Tropic Thunder
Gonna Be Me: My notes on delicious say: "YESSS," and that encapsulates perfectly how I feel about this. Alpa Chino arrives at the airport after filming; Lance is waiting.

A blinding camera flash brought him back to the present and he squinted beneath his stunner shades. In front of him was a swarm of reporters and fans. All of their shouted questions only encouraged the onset of a huge headache. With an inaudible groan, he dutifully took one long sip from his can of Booty Sweat and threw up a random hand sign that wouldn't get him shot by gangsters.

Tentpole: The meta alone in this is absolute genius, as are the fake news quotes from various real sources. Life after Tropic Thunder, for most of the characters. Each section is in a different voice, and it's genius. Oh, and there's a cameo by Ari Emmanuel. Yeah. You bet your ass.

It's somewhere between Hanoi and Los Angeles when CNN starts showing bits of footage from some hidden camera footage that a set tech sold them that Kirk Lazarus realizes that they've got a real movie on their hands. Not that bodgy piece of shite that Tropic Thunder was, but whatever's left on the cameras that dill Damien Cockburn planted in the jungle.

WALL*E
All There Is and More: WALL*E wants a little nextgen robot; EVE requires some convincing. Oh my gosh, is this sweet.

After a while, EVE noticed that Wall.E would get distracted whenever they visited John and Mary in their home. John and Mary had two nextgen humans now, and Wall.E loved bringing them things from his collection and delighted in their reactions. Shiny things, or ones that bounced, or even ones that sang when he turned a handle. EVE admitted the little ones were very sweet and liked to play, but there had been a few years when they were loud and noisy and didn't do much of anything at all. Wall.E had been fascinated even then, but EVE had been a little bored, preferring instead to work out the algorithms for building a mechanism that could help foster the most appropriate plants for various soil types.

Watchmen
Nothing Beside Remains: Adrian Veidt, afterward. It's an interesting look at his point of view; it's one I'd never considered.

Neither is it fear, although he will admit to being a little apprehensive about the impending re-release of his line of action figures, freshly redesigned and fully articulated to appeal to the adult collector and children alike.

It bothers him, especially given the way things ended with Dan and Rorschach. And Jon.

Small Monsters: Rorschach and Nite Owl on patrol, before the worst of Rorscach's madness. Gritty and dark, a good look at Rorschach's neuroses and Dan finally realizing the kind of man he's working with.

That was it. This was why Rorschach did it--dressed up, did the dance, flew around with Dan in a goofy airship shaped like a bird. It wasn't for the gadgets and the cloak-and-dagger games Dan was in it for. This was a runty little kid who'd had the crap kicked out of him by all and sundry, then grown up into an angry little man who beat up criminals every night because the people he really wanted to hit were out of reach. This was all personal for him--personal and dirty and ugly and not about being a hero at all.

A Mirror of the Trackless Sky: Dan and Laurie afterward. Well done, with the glimmer of hope at the end that I always wanted.

"I guess accepting the unforgivable runs in the family," she tells Dan bitterly. She and Veidt were friends for a long time, cohorts at abominable state suppers, token figures at important events.

White Christmas
Temptation: Confession: I just saw this movie on TV for the first time the night before the archive opened, and my brother and I laughed our way through it. It's terribly silly! When I saw that there was fic in the archive, I went to read it, and man, I wish the movie had been this well-written! Bob and Phil making their way after the war; I love that the author shows us some of Phil's genesis from awkward soldier to accomplished showman, and I love the hint of Bob/Phil.

But somehow (Phil had rubbed his arm and looked tragic and Bob couldn't say no to that face), they ended up at the Blue Goose, wearing red vests and looking dapper.

Or Bob looked dapper. Phil's hair was so excited to be in a real live New York nightclub that it was having a party all on its own. Bob used to have to yell at him about that during inspections, but now it made him smile. Phil spun around, staring at the tables, the chandeliers, the women in their low-backed evening dresses.

xkcd
The Amazing Adventures of Hat Guy and Girl Who Stole His Hat: This is getting recced everywhere, and for good reason. Who knew that you could write fic about a nonlinear stick-figure webcomic? This is sweet and geeky and so in keeping with the source material; it's wonderful. (Good call on the request, numinicious.)

Hat Guy is at Cape Cod as night falls, right at the tip. The British aren't coming, but if they were, he'd be ready. He's wrapped up against the cold, watching the light flickering across the water and the light of the laptop screen flicker over his girlfriend's face. They've been out there some time when she looks up, and smiles.

Yuletide has been such a fantastic experience this year; I am so happy.