wakeupnew | Yuletide rec post #3!

Final rec post! The last few letters of the alphabet, along with other fics that I somehow missed along the way.

Please ignore any typos or incoherencies. Clearly, the best time to finish Yuletide recs is after New Years Day beers. It is snowing like balls outside. I don't think I'm getting out to see The Princess and the Frog tomorrow. Singing Mma Makutsi, you will have to wait until another day.

FINDING NEMO
From Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia: Editing Moorish Idol
(The story of how Gill came to be captured. Wonderful.)

He saw her nipping at an alga bloom one day, her banner tossed back wild and free and glinting in the sun. He saw the sea snake bear down upon her and he charged without thinking. There was little enough beauty in this world without having it gobbled up. Gill lost three inches off his dorsal fin, his top front teeth, but worst of all he lost track of her. The only girl he would ever love. He knew it as he nursed his wounds and settled in to his cranny for the night, but he had no regrets.

THE MUMMY
Rules and the Married Man
(Rick and Evy's honeymoon doesn't go exactly as planned. Great character voices, and I love the comic timing.)

When she told him that there would be rules in their relationship, Rick was prepared for the usual litany of female complaints he had heard other men discuss. Things like leaving laundry on the floor, putting up groceries, the toilet seat saga. When, after three days and two nights of married bliss, these "rules" had not been introduced, he thought that perhaps they were not needed.

"Rick, rule number one: Do not interrupt me while I am in the library."

He already hated that rule. It ruined so many things he had planned for the library. On the library stairs. Under the library tables. He had even made plans for the shelves that didn't involve knocking off the books.

THE MIDDLEMAN
The Mirrorball Malefaction Misapprehension
(Case-fic and the, just -- omg was this person a writer for the show? I mean, READ THE EXCERPT.)

Boss looked at Wendy with a gaze that fell somewhere in between confused and pissed off. "This just frosts my flakes," he said. "Misappropriation of materials, mysterious men from Walla Walla, and cloak-wearing aliens do not provide a logical progression."

"Logic?" Wendy asked. "Hate to ask you this, Mr. Spock, but when has logic ever had anything to do with this job?"

"This is as serious as a sockful of scorpions, Dubbie, and if it's got something to do with the calendar change, we're covered in bites."

THE MENTALIST
Sanguine
(A day in the life of Patrick Jane, a short coda to the season 1 episode "Russet Potatoes." The Jane and Lisbon voices are excellent and Jane's observations are fascinating to watch play out, and the final paragraph is a perfect punch to the gut.)

The paramedic is a tawny-haired woman in her mid-thirties, gaunt-faced and slightly too skinny for her uniform. She is recently divorced, Jane can tell, probably fighting for the custody of her child. When she reaches for the gauze, Jane cranes his head at the pretense of stretching his neck until he spots the photo taped to the sun visor. Ah. Two children.

TRUE BLOOD
Some Crazy, Random, Happenstance Bullshit That All Turned Out Okay
(The most fucking unreal voice for Lafayette Reynolds that you will ever read. Lafayette has a good day.)

But Lafayette shoved the big, drunk bastard back down and said, "That's Mrs. Bitch to you, Billy-Bob. And I suggest you get up slowly and mosey your fat asses outta here just as nicely as you capable of. Because if you fuck with me, I'll hit you so fucking hard that if the world is unfortunate enough that some silly slut one day lets you into her panties at the wrong time of the month and you actually breed, all you's grandchildren's grandchildren will pop out between they momma's legs with my handprint on their little redneck, soon-to-be-beer-guzzling, tractor-pull watching, masturbating-to-NASCAR ugly fucking ass cheeks."

UP
We'll Make It a Joint Venture
(Carl and Ellie, more scenes -- but with dialogue, this time -- which could have been in the opening montage. Lovely and heartbreaking.)

No child simply holds onto a balloon anymore. No child clutches onto that length of twine with insistence, with urgency, and with conscious effort. Maybe that's the problem: too much worry required, too much thought. A knot overrides all of that, switches the child from an active role to a passive one. He's not playing with a balloon anymore; he's just a tether. An anchor. Dead weight. An agent of gravity forcing the balloon closer to the ground while a balloon's nature is up.

Always, always up.

And yet Carl's parked his balloon cart in the zoo every day, in the area dedicated to South American birds. Not because he's assigned to stay there by management, but because Ellie's there in that bird enclosure and Carl's never strayed very far from Ellie since the day they met.

FERRIS BUELLER'S DAY OFF
(I read everything from here on out after the reveals, so it will include author names.)
Pointillism, by

copinggoggles
(SOPHIE. AHHH! Fabulous voices for Cam, Sloane, and Ferris, following them through the years; subtle, gentle hints at pairings involving all three. The descriptions and word choices are just excellent.)

"You can't drink Coke with that stuff!" Cameron lowers his voice, leaning in to whisper urgently across the table. "Don't you know that's dangerous? I heard that kid in the cereal commercials drank Coke after eating Pop Rocks, and his stomach exploded." Ferris gives him another long look, but this time, Cameron can't tell what the other kid is thinking. At least, not until his eyes start to twinkle. "No man, I'm serious, this really happened, um, Ferris, you can't - I'll tell on you if you do, man, FERRIS - "

WATCHMEN
But Not Forgotten, by saltedpin
(Dan introspection after the Keene Act; features Rorschach. The Dan voice is just excellent.)

Money flows into his already fat bank account – Dan hasn't sought to understand how or why, and trusts his financial advisors to an extent that his father would have found reprehensible. His father had trusted his own judgement above all else, and believed in what he could hold, what he could count. Dan didn't blame him in the least, and was grateful for a father who had indulged his son to the extent that he let him discover his own interests. Everything I've done, his father had told him when he was young, very young, I've done so you won't have to see the things I've seen. People are the ugliest of creatures, Dan. I can see why you'd prefer birds.

Shadows and Shade, by Apathy
(The Silhouette.)

Sure, they don't actually like each other all that much, but that's not the point. Most of the Minutemen don't like each other very much. It makes it easier to fight criminals when they're not constantly worrying about the wellbeing of their teammates.

The two of them are like night and day. Silk Spectre, the darling of the masses, takes out her opponents with heavy punches that seem to be powered by patriotism and home-made lemonade and the American flag itself. Even when she's fighting, she's squeaky clean.

Silhouette, on the other hand, sticks to the shadows. She fights hard and dirty, and does the things that Silk Spectre won't… or, at least, won't admit to. There have been times when Silhouette has seen Silk Spectre with a certain look in her eye, a certain fierceness to her punches that cannot be explained away as simple crimebusting.

WHERE THE WILD THING ARE
Things Too Wild for Their Words, by Jae
(This movie is really poignant to me for personal reasons now, and this look at Max as a grown up -- still incredibly recognizable as an older version of the Max from the movie -- facing responsibilities and returning to the Wild Things, is pitch perfect.)

Back at the clearing Carol kicks through the ashes from the fire the night before and pulls out a big stick, burnt black along the edges. He swings it so that Max stumbles back. "You get one too," he yells, and Max looks around until he finds one. "Fight," Carol says, and Max swings his club through the air until it bangs against Carol's and he laughs. When Carol hits back Max stumbles over his feet and almost falls. They fight all around the edge of the clearing, until finally Carol takes one enormous swing and Max drops his stick and falls onto his back, laughing. Carol howls and howls, then falls down next to him.

WHITE COLLAR
And anyone who's ever had a heart, by

liviapenn
(Neal and Peter and Elizabeth, sexy and pitch perfect through the years.)

"FBI. You're under arrest," Elizabeth snaps out in her best impression of Peter's humorless son of a bitch tone.

Under pretty much any other circumstances Caffrey's reaction would be absolutely goddamn hilarious. He snaps upright, spinning to face the bathroom door, bracing himself one-handed against the rail of Peter's bed, but so gracefully that it doesn't shift a millimeter under his weight. It's like nothing so much as a cat falling off the tv-- the speed with which he regains his dignity just makes it that much funnier.

Yin, by therienne
(This -- I almost hate giving it away, because it would be so delightful to discover on your own, but it's a heist sort of a deal starring Neal and Peter, and it features a brilliant crossover, and you should read it because it is awesome and I'm going to link the even better second part in another fandom.)

Neal arrived at the brownstone clad in the same abysmal attire he'd left the office in, cold, and covered with snow. It was still coming down hard as he waited shivering at the front door. Cruz and Jones had waved him a cheerful goodbye from the back of the van, clutching mugs of steaming spiced latte as Peter had shooed him out of the vehicle despite his protests. He could feel the slush seeping in through the soles of his shoes. It was clear to Neal that none of them understood that one had to mentally prepare for this type of work, and that kind of preparation could not properly be undertaken with soggy socks.

LEVERAGE
The Con Job, by Steph
(Hardison tries to prep Eliot and Parker for a job. The voices are awesome and Hardison's horror is delightful!!)

"Do you know Star Wars?" he asked.

"Sure!" Parker said, and Alec had one second to be relieved before she raised her hand, fingers spread in the Vulcan salute. "I come in peace!"

"What are you even – that's – girl, put your hand down."

Like That Eels Song, by sloth
(Hardison breaks his wrist and has to deal with Parker and Eliot. The voices. are. fabulous.)

Eliot’s theory is that Hardison spent too much time playing with his joystick and got that carpal whatsit thing.

Nate thinks Hardison tripped and crashed and broke his wrist after another one of his forty-hour awake marathons induced extreme clumsiness.

Parker broke hers almost exactly the same way, once, or actually had it broken – foster father #3 – and she’s weirdly both fascinated and concerned for Hardison, wants to mother his wound while also poking at it repeatedly.

Sophie isn’t around to have any kind of opinion at all.

Yang, by therienne
(The second half of that White Collar fic; FUCKING EXCELLENT. Parker, Hardison, and Eliot take on a job of their own while Nate and Sophie are away. The character voices are truly fantastic, for the three of them as well as for Agents Jones and Cruz, and the plot is devilishly clever and funny.)

"Just don't get into trouble while we're gone," Nate said.

"I'm sorry, did you somehow miss the thirty-odd years where I carried on my existence as a perfectly capable, nay, let us say, extraordinary individual, without your assistance, and without getting into trouble?" Hardison asked, leaning against the kitchen counter. He'd found the instant waffles and he was pretty happy about it. If he could find some maple syrup, life would be just about perfect right now. A nice big plastic bottle of sugary goopy goodness, and none of that organic natural stuff that actually contained maple, either. That crap made him break out in hives.

Yuletide rec post #3!

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