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if you read nothing else in this post, read the last paragraph!!!
The printer is making death rattle noises. There are four of us currently here, in an office of 20+. None of my favorites are in. At least five of the people who aren't here are out for the entire week. So much jealousy. So much. I know my vacation is coming but I want it to come FASTER! I really miss having a winter break this year. This is the first year I've ever not finished reading through the Yuletide archive before having to go back to school/work. I am only up to the beginning of the M's in the fandom list; I'm a little over halfway there. I want to read more and more and more, but I'm trying to avoid fan fiction while at work, especially since my wireless access is no longer cutting it and I can't do internets on my laptop.
Basically, this is a pointless post about how bored I am and how cranky I am that I have to be at work today when I could be at home reading fanfic, kink meme-ing, and RPing. Ridiculous complaints are ridiculous, but I am still so happy it is a four-day work week.
(If you want a good laugh, go through Rotten Tomatoes' section for Sherlock Holmes. Some of the less flattering reviews are uproarious. I sat by myself at the reception desk this morning, as no one called and no one came in, just laughing my ass off. Bad reviews are the best! Writers always come up with their best turns of phrase in them.)
So this is a Give Me Things to Write and I Shall Endeavor to Write Them post! You all know my fandoms and what I am willing to try (for the record, a few ideas off the top of my head: Sherlock Holmes (new movie or oldschool canon), Iron Man, Glee, Sons of Anarchy, The Mentalist, NCIS, Bones, How I Met Your Mother, iCarly, National Treasure, M*A*S*H, Hellboy, Firefly, True Blood... there are many many many things I'm willing to try that aren't on this list, so feel free to request others if you know I am familiar with the source material). I can't write anything dreadful or explicit due to being at work, but otherwise, I'm pretty easy. Give me a character or characters, a pairing, a situation you want to see somebody in, a word or a song lyric or a phrase... Crossovers, crack, angst, romance, gen, whatever else, and general ridiculousness are all a-okay. Just give me something to jot short things about. For the love of God, please. D: D:
Basically, this is a pointless post about how bored I am and how cranky I am that I have to be at work today when I could be at home reading fanfic, kink meme-ing, and RPing. Ridiculous complaints are ridiculous, but I am still so happy it is a four-day work week.
(If you want a good laugh, go through Rotten Tomatoes' section for Sherlock Holmes. Some of the less flattering reviews are uproarious. I sat by myself at the reception desk this morning, as no one called and no one came in, just laughing my ass off. Bad reviews are the best! Writers always come up with their best turns of phrase in them.)
So this is a Give Me Things to Write and I Shall Endeavor to Write Them post! You all know my fandoms and what I am willing to try (for the record, a few ideas off the top of my head: Sherlock Holmes (new movie or oldschool canon), Iron Man, Glee, Sons of Anarchy, The Mentalist, NCIS, Bones, How I Met Your Mother, iCarly, National Treasure, M*A*S*H, Hellboy, Firefly, True Blood... there are many many many things I'm willing to try that aren't on this list, so feel free to request others if you know I am familiar with the source material). I can't write anything dreadful or explicit due to being at work, but otherwise, I'm pretty easy. Give me a character or characters, a pairing, a situation you want to see somebody in, a word or a song lyric or a phrase... Crossovers, crack, angst, romance, gen, whatever else, and general ridiculousness are all a-okay. Just give me something to jot short things about. For the love of God, please. D: D:
no subject
(1/2)
"Have you seen this?" Ben crowed to Abigail, laughing over a crumbling cross-stitched banner. "I think Jane Jefferson stitched it!"
"Oh my God," Abigail said, scrambling across the vault, arms swung wide and outstretched. "Don't touch it, don't even breathe on it; we need to get a conservation team in here immediately--"
"Uhh Ben!" Riley barked, much louder and more desperate this time, and, while suddenly and swiftly backing up, he kicked over a eighteenth century tea table.
"Careful!" Ben and Abigail snapped in one anguished voice.
"I wouldn't worry about the antique furniture," Riley quavered, continuing to scramble backward as fast as humanly possible. "Guys, seriously--" Abigail stared at him; Ben frowned at Riley, then turned to look at the statue Riley had been studying.
It stepped out from behind the antique screen, and Ben realized that it wasn't a statue.
"Verdammte," Abigail whispered, her eyes huge.
"Guys!" Riley shouted, nearly back out the vault door by now, and Ben snapped out of it first.
"Come on, come on!" Ben ducked back around a sturdy armchair (mid-century Bergere, beautiful walnut detailing, most likely imported from France, he automatically catalogued), hauling Abigail with him.
The ... the thing, whatever it was, paused; he thought -- though he couldn't be sure, as it didn't have eyes, or a face -- it may have been looking between him and Abigail, and Riley in the vault doorway.
Abigail had stumbled at first, clearly still frozen in shock, but now it was her turn to come out of it; she swiftly took the lead, clambering over a steamer trunk in their scramble across the vault toward the door, trying to keep as many artifacts as possible between them and the -- whatever it was.
It turned toward them -- and something shattered across its gray-green-brown oozing surface, porcelain fragments flying. A strange, terrible sort of noise came from it, indecipherable and inhuman, and it turned back toward Riley, who promptly went, "WHATTHEFUCKISTHAT" and threw another vase (this one, Ben couldn't help but note with a distant cringe, of the Yi dynasty's distinct style).
The creature glided toward Riley, who swiftly backpedaled -- and then, with an "Urk--" and a violent jerk that more than suggested an outward source to the sudden motion, he disappeared from sight.
"Riley--" Ben started to shout.
A big red-skinned man in a long trench coat took two easy strides into the vault, walking through the space where Riley had been standing seconds earlier, and he delivered a crushing punch to where the face of the thing would have been, if it had a face. It went flying backward across the vault, and then the big guy turned his attention to Ben and Abigail.
He grinned broadly, showcasing rows of huge white teeth, all the pearlier and more shiny given their contrast with his bright red skin. "Hiya," he said, and then Ben found himself unceremoniously grabbed, his entire bicep engulfed by a hand that was bigger and more solid than any hand had a right to be, and hauled right out of the vault.
(2/2)
Ben took it all in within the space of a second, even as a slight woman took four precise steps past all of them into the vault. She stood out as by-far the shortest person in the tunnel, and as the only person wreathed in big, slowly flickering flames.
"--Oh, don--" Abigail started, and then the explosion went off.
THOOM.
For a split second, Ben could see the woman inside the billowing fire, her head thrown back and her body lit like an x-ray, bones glowing from the inside out, and then their big red savior hurled the huge vault door shut with impossible strength and speed. The shockwave barreled into it immediately and the door bowed outward, the heavy steel crumpling like a kicked tin can -- and then all was silent.
No one said a word for a long, long moment, ears ringing in the silence. Old dust slowly floated down between them; a few rivulets of dirt rained from the ceiling. Somewhere nearby, rotting wooden timbers groaned in protest, and every person in the tunnel looked up, with varying degrees of nervousness apparent in their postures. Riley coughed, slowly beginning to straighten.
Something banged on the vault door from the inside. Ben jumped; Abigail gasped. The big man between them only grinned again and stepped forward to casually rip the enormous door off its broken hinge. As he carefully set it to one side (Riley skittered backward to avoid having it come down on his toes), the woman climbed out of the wall of black smoke, none the worse for wear apart from ash in her hair and smudges across her exposed skin.
"Nice one, Liz," said the fish-man, as the big red guy offered her a hand.
"The tunnel's still standing and everything," added the wry, regular suit (who looked like he belonged with Sandusky, not here, straightening his jacket like this was a regular day at the office).
"And I didn't even pass out," the woman said, breathless and pleased, and from one step to the next, her leg wobbled under her and she crumpled without another sound. The big guy lunged forward and caught her like he'd been expecting it.
"She's gonna get it down one of these days," he said, and he gently lifted her up into his arms, her limbs dangling lifelessly.
"Oh no," Abigail breathed just then, and when Ben swiftly turned to look at her, he saw it, too.
The thinning smoke made the extent of the destruction very, very clear: everything inside the vault had been reduced to ash.
Ben fumbled for Abigail's hand, horrified, and she clutched it hard.
Behind them, peering at the sword-hilt-in-hand design on the suit-guy's belt buckle, Riley suddenly threw his arms up in jubilation and hollered, "I knew you guys were real!"
Re: (2/2)
I knew Mr Conspiracy Theorist would have heard of Hellboy. I KNEW IT. \o/
Re: (2/2)
*dies laughing* As soon as Ben and Abigail started talking about all the various, priceless, one-of-a-kind treasures, I knew that said items were going to get totally distroyed.
"They weren't the gentle team, were they?"