one wound-up punch of intuition

I come bearing A GREAT MANY YULETIDE RECS.

To start off: my gifts! I will write more about each when I hit the M's in the alphabet, but for now, both Good with Their Hands and Brightness are Blitz/Hearth from Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard and are fabulous! Go forth and read!

( Recs in: American Gods, Anne of Green Gables, Bend It Like Beckham, Big Eden, Black Mirror, BuzzFeed RPF (Worth It), Captive Prince, A Charm of Magpies, The Chronicles of Prydain, Dream Daddy, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Galavant, The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue, The Good Place, Goon, Grace and Frankie, Hellboy, Jessica Jones )

This is where I will be on my lunch break.

Fics that are awesome:
Damnation! by indiana_j, Sherlock Holmes, in which Mary Morstan saves the day.
And Her Ruins by sinuous_curve, Star Trek, in which Winona Kirk refuses to be held back.
and keep your powder dry by penknife, Star Trek, in which Gaila kicks ass.
Sync by alicamel, Leverage, in which Parker is off-kilter and hysterical.
What It Means to Me by bluerosefairy, Glee, in which Mercedes pulls the Glee Club together around one of its own and happily gives up the spotlight.
Blonde Ambition by nataliadarimini, Psych, in which Juliet crushes stereotypes and then stomps on them. And arrests them.
experiment by asimaiyat, Scooby Doo, in which Velma is not going to take girls making assumptions and trying to use her as their personal experiment anymore. (Note: HAHAHAHAHAAA!!!)
and so on and on and on by hyacinthian, Scooby Doo, in which Daphne is completely aware of what people think about her, and it's all wrong.
Loves Makes You Grow by rise_your_dead, Hellboy, in which Liz steps out of her fireproof room.
shoulda woulda by moirariordan, Royal Pains, in which Divya doesn't always want to be who everyone thinks she is.
Alphabet Soup by effie214, NCIS, in which Colonel Mann re-learns how to be Holly.
be back soon by fangirly_joy, iCarly, in which Sam thinks that pity-for-being-in-juvie is worse than juvie itself.
Just Give 'Er by wasabi_girl1, How I Met Your Mother, in which Robin is sick of the Canada jokes.
Trust by nightwalker, The Hunger Games, in which Rue decides who to trust.
not because you feel something or don't feel something by hateable, Supernatural, in which Ava Wilson makes the choice: them or her.

Fics that I wrote:
what friends are for; Glee; Santana Lopez/Brittany; PG-13
language; True Blood; Jessica Hamby; R
eye for an eye; Glee; Rachel Berry[+Jesse St. James], PG
woman king, sword in hand; NCIS/Burn Notice; Ziva David + Fiona Glenanne, PG-13

OKAY SO, I wrote the following things for Yuletide this year:

A Very Serious Matter (The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency), for lydiabell
More Than Kin and Less Than Kind (Sons of Anarchy), for fated_addiction
Two of a Kind (The Red Star), for rushin_doll
Stars Are Born (Hellboy movies), for cimera
Small Blind (National Treasure), for starfishchick

Most of my recipients found and seemed to like their stories, so I am very happy! My Yuletide experience in general this year was just excellent, and I didn't really even think about comments or recs; I have no idea why this changed (as last year and the year before, I felt very liiike meeee, please like me!), but it made Yuletide a lot more relaxing. It was really nice to just enjoy Yuletide and not fret over things that I couldn't control. But I did get a lot of really wonderful feedback and several recs (including recs from one or two people who recced more than one of my stories, which always makes me laugh and wonder if they had any idea that the same person wrote both), and I have many people to go forth and thank.

And now, some notes on each individual story!

A Very Serious Matter (The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency, TV; 6524 words), for lydiabell

"No!" Mma Makutsi's voice railed. "No, no, no, you silly man, that is not what has taken place here! It is a crime!"

Mma Ramotswe stepped through the bead curtain and into the former Kgale Hill Post Office. Inside, Mma Makutsi was pacing vigorously, her heels clicking with each step, and she gestured wildly with a stapler. BK sat perched on the edge of the desk with his arms folded; he looked exasperated. "I know that it would be a cri--" he said, and then his eyebrows rose and he stopped. "Mma Ramotswe." She wiggled her fingers at him in a small wave, and he began to smile.

"Yes," said Mma Makutsi fervently, her back to the door. "She would know what to do, but she is away on a very important case, and we cannot disturb her."

Mma Ramotswe gently cleared her throat. Mma Makutsi spun around and her face lit up. "Mma!" she cried, taking several quick, skittering steps toward her. "Oh, Mma, I am glad that you are back!"

( Spoilery notes )

---

More Than Kin and Less Than Kind (Sons of Anarchy; 5740 words), for fated_addiction

Jax was perched on the concrete front steps of St. Thomas with his knees draw up, shoulders hunched, and his chin low. He looked so small, so unlike his usual gangly swaggery self, that Tara paused for a long moment before quietly coming down one step, then two. Her sneakers made next to no noise as she sat down beside him, hip nearly brushing his.

Jax held the familiar top rocker in his hands, his thumb running across the TELLER patch just above the one that read PRESIDENT. Dried blood flaked off the leather under his hands. Tara wrapped both her arms around his near one and held on tight.

( Spoilery notes )

---

Two of a Kind (The Red Star; 906 words), for rushin_doll

"Yeah," hollered Urik Antares sarcastically, ducking a high-flying chair and rolling across the top of the bar. He hit the floor behind it hard enough that he knew he'd still be feeling the impact in his shoulder in the morning. "This was a great idea, Goncharova!"

Alex Goncharova, on the other hand, was laughing like a maniac. "Wasn't it?" she shouted back, and she popped over the top of the bar long enough to hurl a heavy beer stein in the general direction of the knot of combatants. She was grinning like a wild thing when she came back down, but she held an enormous bottle of blue-ribbon vodka in hand, which immediately made her a remarkably more suitable companion in Urik's eyes.

( Spoilery notes )

---

Stars Are Born (Hellboy movies; 684 words), for cimera

"My God," said one of the three judges seated up front. "It sounds like a herd of elephants back there." He raised his voice. "Can we have some professionalism backstage, please! We have a bloody television program to put on!"

Four stagehands carried on pushing a digital screen across the enormous stage. One worker followed along behind them, keeping an eye on trailing electrical wires. Just as the screen reached its place, a huge shaggy gray werewolf entered, stage left. Hellboy burst onstage a half a second behind.

There was a very long moment in which no one moved and no one said a word.

Hellboy and the werewolf stared out at the audience. Three-thousand four-hundred and one audience members -- and three judges -- stared back at them.

( Spoilery notes )

---

Small Blind (National Treasure; 884 words), for starfishchick

Rolling his eyes, Ian shoved two cards over to him across the rickety card table, and then his eyes slid to Ben, who had, Riley privately thought, the single worst poker face in the history of the game ever. He was currently frowning at his cards, like doing so would make them magically give up their secrets to him the way that historical artifacts seemed to. "Gates?" Ian prompted.

"Oh," said Ben, looking up. "I'll take, uh -- no, I'll take none. Thanks."

"You're really bad at this," Riley said, sitting with his feet up on Shaw's empty chair.

Ben glanced at him sideways. Dryly: "Thank you, Riley."

Riley tipped his invisible hat to him.

( Spoilery notes )

The printer is making death rattle noises. There are four of us currently here, in an office of 20+. None of my favorites are in. At least five of the people who aren't here are out for the entire week. So much jealousy. So much. I know my vacation is coming but I want it to come FASTER! I really miss having a winter break this year. This is the first year I've ever not finished reading through the Yuletide archive before having to go back to school/work. I am only up to the beginning of the M's in the fandom list; I'm a little over halfway there. I want to read more and more and more, but I'm trying to avoid fan fiction while at work, especially since my wireless access is no longer cutting it and I can't do internets on my laptop.

Basically, this is a pointless post about how bored I am and how cranky I am that I have to be at work today when I could be at home reading fanfic, kink meme-ing, and RPing. Ridiculous complaints are ridiculous, but I am still so happy it is a four-day work week.

(If you want a good laugh, go through Rotten Tomatoes' section for Sherlock Holmes. Some of the less flattering reviews are uproarious. I sat by myself at the reception desk this morning, as no one called and no one came in, just laughing my ass off. Bad reviews are the best! Writers always come up with their best turns of phrase in them.)

So this is a Give Me Things to Write and I Shall Endeavor to Write Them post! You all know my fandoms and what I am willing to try (for the record, a few ideas off the top of my head: Sherlock Holmes (new movie or oldschool canon), Iron Man, Glee, Sons of Anarchy, The Mentalist, NCIS, Bones, How I Met Your Mother, iCarly, National Treasure, M*A*S*H, Hellboy, Firefly, True Blood... there are many many many things I'm willing to try that aren't on this list, so feel free to request others if you know I am familiar with the source material). I can't write anything dreadful or explicit due to being at work, but otherwise, I'm pretty easy. Give me a character or characters, a pairing, a situation you want to see somebody in, a word or a song lyric or a phrase... Crossovers, crack, angst, romance, gen, whatever else, and general ridiculousness are all a-okay. Just give me something to jot short things about. For the love of God, please. D: D:

If you'd like one of your characters to jump into bed with one of mine, leave a comment along with a prompt and I will write you a drabble/ficlet.

I listed my characters just a couple days ago; I'd link it again here, but A) I am lazy, and B) I don't like pulling up RP journals on work internet. I am not backlogged with cases, for the first time since arriving back here! The woman who I work with is out of the office! I am running out of things to do! Please give me things to write while I'm on my lunch break. That would be awesome.

You can consider this a drabble post in general, too, if that particular meme doesn't interest you. Give me a character or a pairing and some kind of a prompt, and I will take it from there. I don't always finish these things, but I try, and hey, you never know, maybe you will give me a prompt and I'll wind up writing thirty pages of fic for it (agonistes, I'm lookin' at you)! Look, I'll even make this post public! My fandoms are a matter of public record by now, I believe, but here's a random assortment of things that I will write for; if you see something missing from the list and want me to write it, can't hurt to ask! If you know I've seen or read something, I'll probably be willing to at least take a crack at writing for it.

Burn Notice, How I Met Your Mother, Leverage, Bones, Hellboy (movies or Hellboy and BPRD comics), Iron Man (movies or comics), Deadpool, Cable and Deadpool, Black Books, iCarly, National Treasure, Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VIII, Final Fantasy X, The Red Star, M*A*S*H, Firefly, Princess Tutu, Run Fatboy Run, Watchmen, The Office (bearing in mind I never saw the end of the last season), milliways_bar, Sherlock Holmes, Torchwood (I have not seen series 1, but I've seen Children of Earth and most of series 2), True Blood (I've only seen the first six and a half episodes and read the first book, but I'll give it a shot!), Star Wars: X-Wing, Hot Fuzz, Star Trek (nu!Trek; you can request original series, Next Generation, Voyager, or even Enterprise if you want, but it's been years and I make no guarantees of the greatness of my memory)

I will write crossovers, crack, and basically anything else; I can only write sexy or gross things that are mildly sexy or gross (I am at my desk at work, pls remember. This is a worksafe space, darlings).

I inexplicably have the Next Generation theme stuck in my head. I haven't seen that show since I was 14 and obsessed. What, brain?

Title: She Belongs Here
Fandom: Hellboy (movies)
Rating: PG
Characters: Hellboy, Liz Sherman
Summary: Liz leaves the Bureau for the ninth time, and Hellboy decides to do something about it.

Notes: At one point, I was going to do a series of firsts in Hellboy and Liz's relationship, and then I got -- as usual -- distracted. I wrote a couple, though, including this (though the 'first' may be difficult to spot; virtual cookies to anybody who gets it!), the first meeting, and the first kiss. Props to dictator_duck for the restaurant name.

( If you think I'm coming over there, you're crazy. )

So this afternoon, I was like, hey! Porn battle! Neat! Upon scrolling to my fandom-of-the-moment, I found that the three requested pairings were Nuada/Nuala, Abe/Nuala, and Hellboy/Myers.

My Liz-defensiveness pretty much immediately kicked in, so I powered up Word and, uh, I wound up with almost 1,000 words of not-really-porn Hellboy/Liz.

But I said I was going to write it, and I did. Thus:

Title: Endgame
Fandom: Hellboy (movies)
Rating: Somewhere between PG-13 and R
Characters: Hellboy/Liz, Abe
Summary: Red and Liz give chess a shot.

Endgame: The stage of the game when there are few pieces left on the board. The endgame follows the middlegame.

Notes: Set shortly after the first movie. This got so much sappier than I intended. Also, I seem to have lost the porn part. By which I mean I tried to write it, laughed hysterically, and gave up.

I don't think she knows that this is what it was for, but I owe phoenixchilde for the prompt: chess board. I'm probably going to write more of these in response to the prompts that other people gave me. I want porn for this pairing, dammit, and if nobody else is going to write it, I will.

(In the way where I'm going to write a handful of ficlets that aren't very explicit at all, and maybe all together they'll make a whole?)

( You're a cheater! )

Stolen primarily from austen:

Pick a pairing from my fandoms, and come with a location and/or situation, and I will write you between 50 and 250 words about the kiss that happened in that context.

I feel like my fandoms are fairly common knowledge, but if you're unsure, check my 'fic' tag or my interests; I'm pretty sure I have most of them listed there. 50 words is short! I like short. I also like having things to write in between reading about the affectation of language and what it means to people's identity. Hrg, philosophy class, please leave me alone.