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and so in need of a stampede of love
Guess what: another Glee spoiler clip leaked! Double guess what: I AM TOTALLY LOSING MY SHIT OVER IT. Again, I don't have an embed, as this was pointed out to me on Tumblr.
PUCK/LAUREN SPOILER CLIP FROM "SILLY LOVE SONGS"
THOSE WERE THREE MINUTES LAUREN WILL NEVER GET BACK
SHE WILL BREAK HIS NUTS
HE'S NOT TURNING HER ON EVEN A LITTLE
"I'M IN LOVE WITH LAUREN ZIZES"
OH MY GODDDDD
THIS COULD FAIL SO HARD AND YET
omg okay cut the capslock, Lexie; let's be a grown-up about our musical dramedy high school television shows. But for the record -- this gif was seriously my face and my arms when I first watched this video. I had to put the computer down so I could leap around.
While I was hoping for anti-romanticism and casualness from both of them, and potential fuck buddy status that grows into something ~*more*~, STILL-OFFENSIVE-BUT-SMITTEN!PUCK IS THE NEXT BEST THING. OH MY GOD. OKAY, no more capslock. I swear. The fact that Lauren rebuffs and insults him at every turn in this video is fucking hilarious and delightful. Her janitor's closet put-downs are so, so good! The fact that she's weirded out by him staring all moon-eyed at her, and her threat of breaking his nuts (oh my God, you guys, I swear to God I wrote that line in an ongoing fic) -- ksdfksjdksdjg. She insulted him the whole time -- and he loved it. I am so happy! I'd been concerned that it would be a joke, you know? The fat chick who's got the hots for the bad boy (which wouldn't be bad in and of itself, but I could see that being portrayed as gross/wrong/funny) and the bad boy who goes for it with her due to boredom/douchery/what have you.
I almost can't believe that the writers did this. Like -- when it comes to Lauren's condescension and insults and death glares and unimpressed attitude, and Puck being intrigued/challenged by it, I COULD NOT ASK FOR ANYTHING MORE, THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I HAVE BEEN WANTING. She is super defiant! She doesn't fawn over him like I had feared! I mean, I find this clip delightful enough that I'm totally ignoring the chocolates until I see the scene in context in the episode.
LAUREN ZIZES, I LOVE YOU FOREVER. PUCK IS OKAY TOO.
There can be no doubt, at this point, who Puck is singing "Fat Bottomed Girls" to. Which, by the way: here is a 30-second preview.
Have I mentioned that I am losing my shit? Because I am totally losing my shit. FAVORITE SHIP ON THIS GODDAMNED CRACK MOUNTAIN OF A SHOW.
Day 01 - Your favorite male character
Day 02 - Your favorite female character
Day 03 - Your favorite group performance
Day 04 - Your favorite solo
Day 05 - Your favorite duet
Day 06 - Your favorite Rachel/Finn moment
Day 07 - Your favorite Finn-Kurt moment
Day 08 - Your favorite Quinn/Puck moment
Day 09 - Your favorite Kurt-Mercedes moment
Day 10 - Your favorite Santana/Brittany moment
Day 11 - Your favorite Sue Sylvester moment
Day 12 - The couple you ship the MOST
Day 13 - A scene/moment that pissed you off
Day 14 - A scene/moment that made you cry
Day 15 - A scene/moment that made you happy
Day 16 - Your favorite episode
Day 17 - Your least favorite episode
Day 18 - Your least favorite character
Day 19 - Your least favorite performance
Day 20 - Your favorite quote
Day 21 - Your favorite guest-star
Day 22 - Your least favorite guest-star
Day 23 - The character you most relate to
Day 24 - The character you would like to hear/see more of
Day 25 - Something that happened that you wish hadn’t
Day 26 - Something that hadn’t happened but you wish had
Day 27 - Your idea for a future Glee character
Day 28 - Your idea for a future Glee episode
Day 29 - Your idea for a future Glee performance
Day 30 - Whatever tickles your fancy
sjdfksjdgsd I have so many feelings about songs that I want them to do on Glee. SO MANY FEELIIIINGS. I actually have running lists. I desperately want somebody to do a song by Adele; from the looks of Kevin McHale's Twitter, he totally agrees. I would pretty much die to see Mercedes sing "Chasing Pavements"; maybe -- in my ridiculous season 3 universe that you can follow through my last few days of responses to this meme -- after flirting with Dan for a while?
Other strong contenders for my response today: Santana Lopez marching through the halls of McKinley High School in her very own fantasy musical number sequence, singing the fuck out of "Filthy/Gorgeous" by the Scissor Scissors would blow my mind. I mean, seriously.
When you're walkin' down the street
And a man tries to get your business
And the people that you meet
Wanna open you up like Christmas
You gotta wrap your fuzzy with a big red bow
Ain't no sumbitch gonna treat me like a ho
I'm a classy honey kissy huggy lovey dovey ghetto princess
* * *
It would never happen in a million years, but I kind of love "First Day" by Bright Eyes as a ridiculously sappy guitar-driven Kurt/Blaine duet.
Yours is the first face that I saw
I think I was blind before I met you
Now I don’t know where I am
I don’t know where I’ve been
But I know where I want to go
And so I thought I’d let you know
That these things take forever
I especially am slow
But I realize that I need you
And I wondered if I could come home
Remember the time you drove all night
Just to meet me in the morning
And I thought it was strange you said everything changed
You felt as if you'd just woke up
* * *
Rachel singing "Diva's Lament" from Spamalot would quite possibly be the greatest musical reference the show has ever done.
Whatever happened to my part?
It was exciting at the start!
Now we're halfway through Act 2,
And I've had nothing yet to do.
I've been offstage for far too long!
It's ages since I had a song.
This is one unhappy diva;
The producers have deceived her.
There is nothing I can sing from my heart.
Whatever happened to my part?
I am sick of my career,
Always stuck in second gear;
Up to here, with frustration and with fears.
I've no Grammy, no rewards,
I've no Tony Awards,
I'm constantly replaced with Britney Spears.
* * *
I also really, really really really want somebody to do a song by Mika; in particular, the Warblers with Kurt on leads would do a ridiculous rendition of "Grace Kelly."
* * *
But I do have a pet favorite; one that's never going to happen, because it's totally obscure, but I can dream about.
Mike buries his face in his hands.
"It -- wasn't that bad," Blaine says, in an attempt at soothing and encouraging. He's sitting at the chorus room piano, hands still splayed across the keys, and he's not being entirely truthful. "It just needs a little more work."
"Can we take the dance break and help you now?" Mike says into his hands. "Please?"
Blaine shoots him a concerned glance across the piano. "Definitely," he says, as brightly as he dares, and he slides off the piano bench and pulls his iPod out of his pocket. He settles it into the small set of portable MP3 player speakers sitting on the piano, and then he turns around to find Mike looking immeasurably better now that he doesn't have to sing anymore for the moment.
"So, I don't know if you've noticed, but I don't really dance," Blaine says, and from the way that Mike immediately laughs but then looks politely attentive, it's clear that he has noticed. "I mostly make faces, bounce, occasionally spin, and do a lot of this." On 'this,' he dramatically spreads his hands, palms toward the floor, and Mike chuckles again.
"It works for you," Mike says.
He laughs. "Thanks." Rueful: "It's a lot harder when everybody doesn't just automatically back up whatever I start doing, though."
"So -- that's what you want help with?" asks Mike, his eyebrows furrowed. "Getting used to dancing in the background?"
"Oh, no," says Blaine. "I can totally handle that. I'm looking for help with something I want to do for Kurt." He hits play on his iPod and the opening trumpet blast blares out, and Mike's expressive thoughtful frown eases into a much more appreciative face as the syncopated drum (bongo?) beats kick in.
"Nice," he says, grinning and already starting to sinuously move his legs to the beat. "Old school; I like it."
"I am dejected, I am depressed, yet resurrected and sailing the crest," sings the smooth, smooth voice of Nat King Cole.
"You know it?" Blaine asks, surprised and pleased; people don't tend to recognize these old-standard favorites of his.
"No, sorry; I really like the sound, though," Mike says, still shifting on his feet. He looks like he's barely aware that he's even moving; like he's doing it absently as he thinks. "So, the general idea--?"
"Start out singing, then pull him in to dance," Blaine says promptly.
"Okay. The steps will have to be something pretty simple for Kurt to follow, then, because -- this is supposed to be a surprise, right?"
"Something like that," Blaine says, and he lets his expression go cheerfully shifty; Mike shoots him an amused look.
Which is how they wind up whirling through the choir room in each others' arms, Blaine's left hand on Mike's lower back and his right hand wrapped up with Mike's. Mike is supposed to be following but he's not great at it, mostly because Blaine isn't great at leading.
"Feet," Mike counsels as they whip around again, "ow, feet -- you've got to feel the rhythm and move with it, man."
"Sorry-- So come and enlighten my days and never depart; you only can brighten the blaze that burns in my heart," Blaine sings along with the recording, and Mike cheerfully corrects his form. Not for the first time in the last hour, Blaine thinks that he owes Tina several jars of Manic Panic for having exposed Mike to a bunch of classic musicals. He's pretty sure this is a dumbed-down version of a move that Danny Kaye and Vera-Ellen pulled in White Christmas.
And he's really sure that Mike is the coolest of the New Directions straight guys.
"You're gonna have to get past the 'kill yourself' lines fast," Mike points out, and Blaine stops singing so he can laugh, because he can't do both while dancing, and Mike dips him just for fun. Neither of them see it, but Lauren Zizes watches them from the doorway for several long seconds, her eyebrows furrowed; then she takes a cell phone picture and ducks out before Mike cheerfully hauls Blaine back up.
* * *
"So," says a voice from behind him, and Blaine -- practicing the sweeping move that Mike had taught him, arms around an imaginary partner -- practically hits the ceiling with his shocked jump. When he turns around, he finds Kurt standing there with his arms folded and a funny expression on his face.
"Hey," Blaine says, out of breath, and he flashes an automatic smile, but Kurt doesn't reciprocate.
"What's this I hear about my boyfriend performing a romantic duet with the straight boyfriend of one of my best friends?" Kurt asks, his eyebrows raised.
"Well," says Blaine, suddenly aware of how fraught this conversation potentially is (and trying really, really hard not to laugh at the look on Kurt's face, because that would be unkind and also Kurt would kill him), and he reaches out and takes Kurt by the forearm. Kurt refuses to uncross his arms, but he does let Blaine pull him over in front of the piano. "Mike wanted to sing to Tina and I wanted to dance with you, so -- we helped each other out."
Kurt's head tilts to the side and he's frowning when Blaine leans past him to hit play on his iPod speakers. His eyes widen dramatically when the trumpet fanfare and the strings kick in; Blaine can't tell if it's shock or if that's Kurt's I am judging you so intensely right now expression. He slides back a few steps, and does a little one-two-three shuffle step with a slow spin; when he faces Kurt again, Kurt looks less annoyed and more just plain intrigued.
"I am dejected, I am depressed," Blaine sings, one hand up and the other at his stomach as he slides his feet back and forth, "yet resurrected, and sailing the crest." The strings swell for a measure or two and Blaine dances away, then looks back to Kurt with a wider expanse of floor separating them. "Why this elation, mixed with deflation? What explanation?" He throws his arms out wide, then points with one open hand and his whole arm at Kurt. "I am in love!"
Kurt's sudden smile of realization lights up his entire face. It's such an enormous, transcendent expression that Blaine nearly trips over his own feet before recovering.
As the instrumental section plays, Blaine dances in and around the empty chairs on the risers where they all normally sit. He hops up on the nearest chair, resting his foot on the back of it, then he shifts his weight forward, rides the chair down as it falls, and hops off just before it hits the ground.
Kurt is beaming now, the expression that Blaine remembers from "Teenage Dream"; his shoulders moving with the beat and his fingers unable to hide his smile, but he looks mildly alarmed when Blaine abruptly whips his head toward him on the end of a trumpet beat and starts stalking toward him. Kurt mouths no, no, starting to laugh and back away, and Blaine follows as gracefully as he knows how, trying to remember Mike's lessons -- keep movement smooth, not sharp or jerky.
"Such conflicting questions ride around in my brain; should I order cyanide," and, still backing up, Kurt pulls an affronted face at him, "or order champagne?" Blaine finishes, grinning and nodding to show that he would choose the latter, hands over his heart. Kurt tips his head in a clear well, I suppose that's okay then motion, and then he squawks in surprise as Blaine catches up and tugs him into the dance with him, hands clasped and his other hand pressed into the small of Kurt's back, pulling them together.
It had been a complete accident when Blaine had discovered that Kurt was actually a fairly accomplished dancer. He had known from watching him in Warblers and New Directions performances that he had a certain amount of grace, but when Finn had mentioned that Kurt had taught him and Burt how to dance for the wedding, it had started the ball rolling in his head. And now that Kurt's chest is pressed against his and he has grabbed the back of Blaine's shoulder, and he is -- automatically, Blaine thinks -- following along with Blaine's first few steps, Blaine is all the more impressed.
"Oh, what is this sudden jolt?" On the trumpets' combined POW! after 'jolt,' he spins Kurt, who nearly stumbles (but Blaine catches him) and then starts to laugh as Blaine pulls him back in again. "I feel like a frightened colt," Blaine sings directly to Kurt, their faces only a few inches apart as Blaine falls back into the steps that Mike had taught him, Kurt warm against him and following with only a few stumbles. "Just hit by a thunderbolt, I am in love."
As they get better at it, they start to travel and whirl around the room more, Blaine still singing and Kurt still smiling and making the occasional disdainful face or bark of laughter. He doesn't say anything, though, and carefully does nothing to interrupt what Blaine is doing, so Blaine already knows that this was a fantastic idea.
"I knew the odds were against me before;
I had no flair for flaming desire.
But since the gods gave me you to adore,
I may lose but I refuse to fight the fire."
Kurt is mid-"you are the oldest, cheesiest teenager I know" smile when Blaine starts the last verse. "So come and enlighten my days and never depart," he croons, and he shuts his eyes for a second, swallowing, as Kurt's hand slides up from the back of his shoulder to the nape of his neck just at the edge of his hairline. "You only can brighten the blaze that burns in my heart," he manages a little shakily, and he opens his eyes on a quiet, private smile from Kurt. "For I am wildly in love with you," he promises. "And so in need of a stampede of love."
'Stampede of love?' Kurt mouths, and Blaine shrugs and says, "Get ready."
Kurt says warily, "For wh--?"
The trumpets' triumphant, fast-paced interlude blares out. Pulling with the arm around Kurt's back, Blaine breaks out into the biggest, widest, fastest whirling sweep across the chorus room that they've tried; Kurt yelps in surprise and follows along, their feet tripping over each other for the first few steps until he figures out what Blaine is trying to do and then it's suddenly ten times easier. They're just really starting to get it together when Blaine hears the musical cue that he'd chosen, and he stops them dead in the middle of the room so that he can dip Kurt just as the music comes to a split second's halt, then snap him back up -- just as fast as he'd bent him backwards in the first place -- when the violins make their run up the scale. Kurt comes back up a little wild-eyed, and before Blaine entirely realizes what's happening, they've swapped positions and Kurt is leading.
"For I am wildly in love with you," Blaine continues on reflex, his eyebrows raised.
Between the height difference and Kurt being Kurt, dancing is much, much easier like this. Blaine has about 10 seconds to realize this and to decide internally that he's going to let Kurt lead from now on, as Kurt gives up on the spinning they've been doing and dances him straight back into the piano.
"And so in need of a stampede of love--" Then Blaine's back hits the keyboard with a discordant crash of notes and Kurt is kissing him.
Nat King Cole finishes the final line of the song alone.
Your idea for a future Glee performance: "I Am in Love" by Nat King Cole
I really, really want one of the glee kids to sing this song to his/her significant other while doing some fun, really elegant dancing together, and honestly, I'm really not picky about who does it. It's deliciously old school jazzy, which I would love to see more of on the show, and the lyrics are so high school romance. I waffled on whether I wanted to do it as a Tina/Mike or a Kurt/Blaine drabble. The dancing that I wanted would really have to involve Mike, but the singing/song choice seemed all Blaine. I think they're really styling the character along the lines of a Cary Grant or a young Marlon Brando; he's dapper and Tom Ford esque, and I could really see him knowing/respecting the classics and liking a lot of music from the fifties/sixties. Wanting one character's dancing skills and the other's singing/musical selection is how I wound up with Mike and Blaine gliding across the chorus room floor together.
Unfortunately, I have been totally unable to find the version of the song that I know and love on YouTube;this recording is the closest I've found, and it's much slower. Motherfuckerrr, YouTube totally yanked that person's account. Well, here is a godawful recording of a recording that I made, since this song does not exist anywhere else on the internet. I am not joking when I say that the sound quality is the worst ever and it's missing the last 20 seconds, but it's at least a flavor of the tune! My favorite version is from a compilation album I have of a bunch of Gershwin, Berlin, and Porter tunes, and it's very clippy, which would make it approximately 10,000,000x more fun as a dance number. You can download it here.
This is the Danny Kaye/Vera-Ellen number from White Christmas that was referenced; obviously that is not at all what the dance in the chorus room looked like, because that is ridiculously amazingsjfnsdjkgdsg and Mike can only work so many wonders, but that's the sort of general tone/feel/look I was thinking of.
PUCK/LAUREN SPOILER CLIP FROM "SILLY LOVE SONGS"
THOSE WERE THREE MINUTES LAUREN WILL NEVER GET BACK
SHE WILL BREAK HIS NUTS
HE'S NOT TURNING HER ON EVEN A LITTLE
"I'M IN LOVE WITH LAUREN ZIZES"
OH MY GODDDDD
THIS COULD FAIL SO HARD AND YET
omg okay cut the capslock, Lexie; let's be a grown-up about our musical dramedy high school television shows. But for the record -- this gif was seriously my face and my arms when I first watched this video. I had to put the computer down so I could leap around.
While I was hoping for anti-romanticism and casualness from both of them, and potential fuck buddy status that grows into something ~*more*~, STILL-OFFENSIVE-BUT-SMITTEN!PUCK IS THE NEXT BEST THING. OH MY GOD. OKAY, no more capslock. I swear. The fact that Lauren rebuffs and insults him at every turn in this video is fucking hilarious and delightful. Her janitor's closet put-downs are so, so good! The fact that she's weirded out by him staring all moon-eyed at her, and her threat of breaking his nuts (oh my God, you guys, I swear to God I wrote that line in an ongoing fic) -- ksdfksjdksdjg. She insulted him the whole time -- and he loved it. I am so happy! I'd been concerned that it would be a joke, you know? The fat chick who's got the hots for the bad boy (which wouldn't be bad in and of itself, but I could see that being portrayed as gross/wrong/funny) and the bad boy who goes for it with her due to boredom/douchery/what have you.
I almost can't believe that the writers did this. Like -- when it comes to Lauren's condescension and insults and death glares and unimpressed attitude, and Puck being intrigued/challenged by it, I COULD NOT ASK FOR ANYTHING MORE, THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I HAVE BEEN WANTING. She is super defiant! She doesn't fawn over him like I had feared! I mean, I find this clip delightful enough that I'm totally ignoring the chocolates until I see the scene in context in the episode.
LAUREN ZIZES, I LOVE YOU FOREVER. PUCK IS OKAY TOO.
There can be no doubt, at this point, who Puck is singing "Fat Bottomed Girls" to. Which, by the way: here is a 30-second preview.
Have I mentioned that I am losing my shit? Because I am totally losing my shit. FAVORITE SHIP ON THIS GODDAMNED CRACK MOUNTAIN OF A SHOW.
Day 01 - Your favorite male character
Day 02 - Your favorite female character
Day 03 - Your favorite group performance
Day 04 - Your favorite solo
Day 05 - Your favorite duet
Day 06 - Your favorite Rachel/Finn moment
Day 07 - Your favorite Finn-Kurt moment
Day 08 - Your favorite Quinn/Puck moment
Day 09 - Your favorite Kurt-Mercedes moment
Day 10 - Your favorite Santana/Brittany moment
Day 11 - Your favorite Sue Sylvester moment
Day 12 - The couple you ship the MOST
Day 13 - A scene/moment that pissed you off
Day 14 - A scene/moment that made you cry
Day 15 - A scene/moment that made you happy
Day 16 - Your favorite episode
Day 17 - Your least favorite episode
Day 18 - Your least favorite character
Day 19 - Your least favorite performance
Day 20 - Your favorite quote
Day 21 - Your favorite guest-star
Day 22 - Your least favorite guest-star
Day 23 - The character you most relate to
Day 24 - The character you would like to hear/see more of
Day 25 - Something that happened that you wish hadn’t
Day 26 - Something that hadn’t happened but you wish had
Day 27 - Your idea for a future Glee character
Day 28 - Your idea for a future Glee episode
Day 29 - Your idea for a future Glee performance
Day 30 - Whatever tickles your fancy
sjdfksjdgsd I have so many feelings about songs that I want them to do on Glee. SO MANY FEELIIIINGS. I actually have running lists. I desperately want somebody to do a song by Adele; from the looks of Kevin McHale's Twitter, he totally agrees. I would pretty much die to see Mercedes sing "Chasing Pavements"; maybe -- in my ridiculous season 3 universe that you can follow through my last few days of responses to this meme -- after flirting with Dan for a while?
Other strong contenders for my response today: Santana Lopez marching through the halls of McKinley High School in her very own fantasy musical number sequence, singing the fuck out of "Filthy/Gorgeous" by the Scissor Scissors would blow my mind. I mean, seriously.
When you're walkin' down the street
And a man tries to get your business
And the people that you meet
Wanna open you up like Christmas
You gotta wrap your fuzzy with a big red bow
Ain't no sumbitch gonna treat me like a ho
I'm a classy honey kissy huggy lovey dovey ghetto princess
* * *
It would never happen in a million years, but I kind of love "First Day" by Bright Eyes as a ridiculously sappy guitar-driven Kurt/Blaine duet.
Yours is the first face that I saw
I think I was blind before I met you
Now I don’t know where I am
I don’t know where I’ve been
But I know where I want to go
And so I thought I’d let you know
That these things take forever
I especially am slow
But I realize that I need you
And I wondered if I could come home
Remember the time you drove all night
Just to meet me in the morning
And I thought it was strange you said everything changed
You felt as if you'd just woke up
* * *
Rachel singing "Diva's Lament" from Spamalot would quite possibly be the greatest musical reference the show has ever done.
Whatever happened to my part?
It was exciting at the start!
Now we're halfway through Act 2,
And I've had nothing yet to do.
I've been offstage for far too long!
It's ages since I had a song.
This is one unhappy diva;
The producers have deceived her.
There is nothing I can sing from my heart.
Whatever happened to my part?
I am sick of my career,
Always stuck in second gear;
Up to here, with frustration and with fears.
I've no Grammy, no rewards,
I've no Tony Awards,
I'm constantly replaced with Britney Spears.
* * *
I also really, really really really want somebody to do a song by Mika; in particular, the Warblers with Kurt on leads would do a ridiculous rendition of "Grace Kelly."
* * *
But I do have a pet favorite; one that's never going to happen, because it's totally obscure, but I can dream about.
Mike buries his face in his hands.
"It -- wasn't that bad," Blaine says, in an attempt at soothing and encouraging. He's sitting at the chorus room piano, hands still splayed across the keys, and he's not being entirely truthful. "It just needs a little more work."
"Can we take the dance break and help you now?" Mike says into his hands. "Please?"
Blaine shoots him a concerned glance across the piano. "Definitely," he says, as brightly as he dares, and he slides off the piano bench and pulls his iPod out of his pocket. He settles it into the small set of portable MP3 player speakers sitting on the piano, and then he turns around to find Mike looking immeasurably better now that he doesn't have to sing anymore for the moment.
"So, I don't know if you've noticed, but I don't really dance," Blaine says, and from the way that Mike immediately laughs but then looks politely attentive, it's clear that he has noticed. "I mostly make faces, bounce, occasionally spin, and do a lot of this." On 'this,' he dramatically spreads his hands, palms toward the floor, and Mike chuckles again.
"It works for you," Mike says.
He laughs. "Thanks." Rueful: "It's a lot harder when everybody doesn't just automatically back up whatever I start doing, though."
"So -- that's what you want help with?" asks Mike, his eyebrows furrowed. "Getting used to dancing in the background?"
"Oh, no," says Blaine. "I can totally handle that. I'm looking for help with something I want to do for Kurt." He hits play on his iPod and the opening trumpet blast blares out, and Mike's expressive thoughtful frown eases into a much more appreciative face as the syncopated drum (bongo?) beats kick in.
"Nice," he says, grinning and already starting to sinuously move his legs to the beat. "Old school; I like it."
"I am dejected, I am depressed, yet resurrected and sailing the crest," sings the smooth, smooth voice of Nat King Cole.
"You know it?" Blaine asks, surprised and pleased; people don't tend to recognize these old-standard favorites of his.
"No, sorry; I really like the sound, though," Mike says, still shifting on his feet. He looks like he's barely aware that he's even moving; like he's doing it absently as he thinks. "So, the general idea--?"
"Start out singing, then pull him in to dance," Blaine says promptly.
"Okay. The steps will have to be something pretty simple for Kurt to follow, then, because -- this is supposed to be a surprise, right?"
"Something like that," Blaine says, and he lets his expression go cheerfully shifty; Mike shoots him an amused look.
Which is how they wind up whirling through the choir room in each others' arms, Blaine's left hand on Mike's lower back and his right hand wrapped up with Mike's. Mike is supposed to be following but he's not great at it, mostly because Blaine isn't great at leading.
"Feet," Mike counsels as they whip around again, "ow, feet -- you've got to feel the rhythm and move with it, man."
"Sorry-- So come and enlighten my days and never depart; you only can brighten the blaze that burns in my heart," Blaine sings along with the recording, and Mike cheerfully corrects his form. Not for the first time in the last hour, Blaine thinks that he owes Tina several jars of Manic Panic for having exposed Mike to a bunch of classic musicals. He's pretty sure this is a dumbed-down version of a move that Danny Kaye and Vera-Ellen pulled in White Christmas.
And he's really sure that Mike is the coolest of the New Directions straight guys.
"You're gonna have to get past the 'kill yourself' lines fast," Mike points out, and Blaine stops singing so he can laugh, because he can't do both while dancing, and Mike dips him just for fun. Neither of them see it, but Lauren Zizes watches them from the doorway for several long seconds, her eyebrows furrowed; then she takes a cell phone picture and ducks out before Mike cheerfully hauls Blaine back up.
* * *
"So," says a voice from behind him, and Blaine -- practicing the sweeping move that Mike had taught him, arms around an imaginary partner -- practically hits the ceiling with his shocked jump. When he turns around, he finds Kurt standing there with his arms folded and a funny expression on his face.
"Hey," Blaine says, out of breath, and he flashes an automatic smile, but Kurt doesn't reciprocate.
"What's this I hear about my boyfriend performing a romantic duet with the straight boyfriend of one of my best friends?" Kurt asks, his eyebrows raised.
"Well," says Blaine, suddenly aware of how fraught this conversation potentially is (and trying really, really hard not to laugh at the look on Kurt's face, because that would be unkind and also Kurt would kill him), and he reaches out and takes Kurt by the forearm. Kurt refuses to uncross his arms, but he does let Blaine pull him over in front of the piano. "Mike wanted to sing to Tina and I wanted to dance with you, so -- we helped each other out."
Kurt's head tilts to the side and he's frowning when Blaine leans past him to hit play on his iPod speakers. His eyes widen dramatically when the trumpet fanfare and the strings kick in; Blaine can't tell if it's shock or if that's Kurt's I am judging you so intensely right now expression. He slides back a few steps, and does a little one-two-three shuffle step with a slow spin; when he faces Kurt again, Kurt looks less annoyed and more just plain intrigued.
"I am dejected, I am depressed," Blaine sings, one hand up and the other at his stomach as he slides his feet back and forth, "yet resurrected, and sailing the crest." The strings swell for a measure or two and Blaine dances away, then looks back to Kurt with a wider expanse of floor separating them. "Why this elation, mixed with deflation? What explanation?" He throws his arms out wide, then points with one open hand and his whole arm at Kurt. "I am in love!"
Kurt's sudden smile of realization lights up his entire face. It's such an enormous, transcendent expression that Blaine nearly trips over his own feet before recovering.
As the instrumental section plays, Blaine dances in and around the empty chairs on the risers where they all normally sit. He hops up on the nearest chair, resting his foot on the back of it, then he shifts his weight forward, rides the chair down as it falls, and hops off just before it hits the ground.
Kurt is beaming now, the expression that Blaine remembers from "Teenage Dream"; his shoulders moving with the beat and his fingers unable to hide his smile, but he looks mildly alarmed when Blaine abruptly whips his head toward him on the end of a trumpet beat and starts stalking toward him. Kurt mouths no, no, starting to laugh and back away, and Blaine follows as gracefully as he knows how, trying to remember Mike's lessons -- keep movement smooth, not sharp or jerky.
"Such conflicting questions ride around in my brain; should I order cyanide," and, still backing up, Kurt pulls an affronted face at him, "or order champagne?" Blaine finishes, grinning and nodding to show that he would choose the latter, hands over his heart. Kurt tips his head in a clear well, I suppose that's okay then motion, and then he squawks in surprise as Blaine catches up and tugs him into the dance with him, hands clasped and his other hand pressed into the small of Kurt's back, pulling them together.
It had been a complete accident when Blaine had discovered that Kurt was actually a fairly accomplished dancer. He had known from watching him in Warblers and New Directions performances that he had a certain amount of grace, but when Finn had mentioned that Kurt had taught him and Burt how to dance for the wedding, it had started the ball rolling in his head. And now that Kurt's chest is pressed against his and he has grabbed the back of Blaine's shoulder, and he is -- automatically, Blaine thinks -- following along with Blaine's first few steps, Blaine is all the more impressed.
"Oh, what is this sudden jolt?" On the trumpets' combined POW! after 'jolt,' he spins Kurt, who nearly stumbles (but Blaine catches him) and then starts to laugh as Blaine pulls him back in again. "I feel like a frightened colt," Blaine sings directly to Kurt, their faces only a few inches apart as Blaine falls back into the steps that Mike had taught him, Kurt warm against him and following with only a few stumbles. "Just hit by a thunderbolt, I am in love."
As they get better at it, they start to travel and whirl around the room more, Blaine still singing and Kurt still smiling and making the occasional disdainful face or bark of laughter. He doesn't say anything, though, and carefully does nothing to interrupt what Blaine is doing, so Blaine already knows that this was a fantastic idea.
"I knew the odds were against me before;
I had no flair for flaming desire.
But since the gods gave me you to adore,
I may lose but I refuse to fight the fire."
Kurt is mid-"you are the oldest, cheesiest teenager I know" smile when Blaine starts the last verse. "So come and enlighten my days and never depart," he croons, and he shuts his eyes for a second, swallowing, as Kurt's hand slides up from the back of his shoulder to the nape of his neck just at the edge of his hairline. "You only can brighten the blaze that burns in my heart," he manages a little shakily, and he opens his eyes on a quiet, private smile from Kurt. "For I am wildly in love with you," he promises. "And so in need of a stampede of love."
'Stampede of love?' Kurt mouths, and Blaine shrugs and says, "Get ready."
Kurt says warily, "For wh--?"
The trumpets' triumphant, fast-paced interlude blares out. Pulling with the arm around Kurt's back, Blaine breaks out into the biggest, widest, fastest whirling sweep across the chorus room that they've tried; Kurt yelps in surprise and follows along, their feet tripping over each other for the first few steps until he figures out what Blaine is trying to do and then it's suddenly ten times easier. They're just really starting to get it together when Blaine hears the musical cue that he'd chosen, and he stops them dead in the middle of the room so that he can dip Kurt just as the music comes to a split second's halt, then snap him back up -- just as fast as he'd bent him backwards in the first place -- when the violins make their run up the scale. Kurt comes back up a little wild-eyed, and before Blaine entirely realizes what's happening, they've swapped positions and Kurt is leading.
"For I am wildly in love with you," Blaine continues on reflex, his eyebrows raised.
Between the height difference and Kurt being Kurt, dancing is much, much easier like this. Blaine has about 10 seconds to realize this and to decide internally that he's going to let Kurt lead from now on, as Kurt gives up on the spinning they've been doing and dances him straight back into the piano.
"And so in need of a stampede of love--" Then Blaine's back hits the keyboard with a discordant crash of notes and Kurt is kissing him.
Nat King Cole finishes the final line of the song alone.
I really, really want one of the glee kids to sing this song to his/her significant other while doing some fun, really elegant dancing together, and honestly, I'm really not picky about who does it. It's deliciously old school jazzy, which I would love to see more of on the show, and the lyrics are so high school romance. I waffled on whether I wanted to do it as a Tina/Mike or a Kurt/Blaine drabble. The dancing that I wanted would really have to involve Mike, but the singing/song choice seemed all Blaine. I think they're really styling the character along the lines of a Cary Grant or a young Marlon Brando; he's dapper and Tom Ford esque, and I could really see him knowing/respecting the classics and liking a lot of music from the fifties/sixties. Wanting one character's dancing skills and the other's singing/musical selection is how I wound up with Mike and Blaine gliding across the chorus room floor together.
Unfortunately, I have been totally unable to find the version of the song that I know and love on YouTube;
This is the Danny Kaye/Vera-Ellen number from White Christmas that was referenced; obviously that is not at all what the dance in the chorus room looked like, because that is ridiculously amazing
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2) Blaine getting Mike Chang Dancing Lessons is something I didn't realize was absolutely vital to my life until reading this, omg. !!!!
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2) I just want them to waltz. Immediately.
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This makes me giggle madly.
Also: I AM SO INTO THAT SPOILER.
Also: DIVA'S LAMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW HAS THIS NOT ALREADY HAPPENED LOL FOREVERRRR
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jdfksdg I love that I have gotten you into Glee spoilers when you don't even watch the show.
WOULDN'T IT BE AMAZING?? It would be heinously meta but I would love it so much.
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